Anxiety often stems from uncertainty and a lack of control. Which pretty much describes the current COVID-19 pandemic. Our nervous systems like things that are familiar, known and predictable. We have never experienced this before as a nation, as such no one really knows what to expect.
My clients know that I am a realist - I am not promising that your worries will all disappear by using some of these strategies. However, doing what we all can to calm our nervous systems even just a bit can create more peaceful spaces, and allow our brains to engage in more clear problem solving as needed.
Below are some things that can help to reduce your anxiety.
Meditation and mindfulness. Practicing meditation and mindfulness helps to train your brain to not impulsively react to external stimuli. At its basic level, it’s paying attention to what is happening (ex. thoughts, with your 5 senses) without judgment, and just allowing your thoughts to come and go without pulling the thread into judgment or planning. There are many good apps to help you learn if you have never done it. Important to remember: The goal is not to clear your mind of all thoughts - that will not happen. Just observe, allow and let them go.
Some apps that I like are: Calm, Headspace, Insight Timer, Mayo Clinic Meditation, Breathe, Ten Percent.
Breathe properly and don’t hold your breath. Your nervous system has two parts - sympathetic (stress) and parasympathetic (relaxation). They cannot both be engaged at the same time. Diaphragmatic (belly) breathing activates the vagus nerve which activates the relaxation response.
To get started with belly breathing, place your hand on your belly. Then exhale until you can’t any longer - pulling your stomach in to get the last bit of air out. Then allow air to come back in naturally. You’ll notice the air coming into your belly first - not the upper part of your body. This is where you want a belly breath to start. You only need to do this the first time just to show where a belly breath should start.
Think of it like filling a pitcher of water - the water fills from the bottom up.
As you go about your day, practice inhaling a belly breath for a few seconds, hold at the top for a second or two, then make your exhale longer than your inhale. You can blow the breath out of your mouth as if blowing through a straw. You don’t need to do a deep breath or exhale completely. Just make sure it originates in your belly and that you don’t hold your breath. (There are thousands of videos online of how to do this. Don’t necessarily get caught up in exactly how many seconds to breathe in or out.)
****If you feel dizzy at any point just stop and breath normally. ****
Have a good laugh. Watch funny movies, tv shows, comedy specials, read funny books. Laughing, especially with others, calms our nervous system and reduces the stress response.
Get outside. Being in nature helps to calm the nervous system. Try to spend at least 30-60 minutes outside each day.
Service to others. Do what you can to help someone else. A phone call to your neighbor who is older and lives alone, offering to share extra supplies or food that you have with others, supporting your local restaurants by ordering takeout/delivery, buying gift cards from local merchants, or donations to causes that are important to you are just some examples of ways to give right now.
Get creative. Creativity originates and lateralizes in the right hemisphere of our brains. This is where we can “zone out”, forget about planning, analyzing, worrying. Remember - process over product. Who cares if what you draw looks wonky, or how your voice sounds when lost in singing your favorite song? Your right hemisphere certainly doesn't.
Take care of your physical health. Continue, or even ramp up, your daily sleep, exercise and nutrition habits. Eating whole, unprocessed foods will help you avoid the mood swings that can result from too much sugar and alcohol, for example. Turn off the news and social media at least an hour before going to bed. And when you wake up, don’t check your social media, news or turn on the tv right away. Take the time to set an intention for the day of calm, peace, productivity.
Monitor your news and social media consumption. Consider how much and how often you really need to pay attention to the national news. A 24 hour news cycle doesn’t mean we have to consume it 24 hours a day :) Maybe follow one or two reliable sources, and be updated on your local community news more often than national news, as this will likely more affect your daily routine. Also, take time to really assess who you are following and interacting with on social media. Ask yourself - Is it adding value, or adding to your stress?
Plan, don’t panic. Having a plan also gives your nervous system and brain the message that you don’t need to worry. Additionally, knowing what to do if you or one of your family members get sick. Who do you call? Do you have all the medications you need? Do you have a contingency plan if you cannot go to work? How will you continue some sort of daily routine for you and your family? (Remember, our brains and nervous systems like predictability)
Focus on what you can control. Assessing what you can and cannot control is important to managing anxiety. You cannot control what others are doing, but you can control your own environment. You can pay attention to what local and federal health officials are recommending, such hand washing, social distancing, wiping down surfaces, etc. You can still control how you spend your time, continuing with your normal routine as much as possible, for example, maintaining your exercise or spiritual practices.
Practice gratitude. Yes, there is a lot going on that is uncertain and creating understandable fear. But these times always also bring out the best in humanity. Notice what you do have, who are supporting you and lifting you up. Be grateful for the people in your life, for the roof over your head, for the time now to slow down and notice what really matters.
…..AND THE MOST IMPORTANT…….
Engage with others. One of the best balms for our activated nervous systems is our continued connection with those we love and who make us feel secure. Even if you can’t visit certain people, take this time to be more connected via facetime, or phone calls.
Our nervous system craves connection, especially when we are stressed. The paradox here is that we are all stressed and are all urged to stay away from each other.
While in person connections are best, seeing each other's faces and hearing each other's voices with caring connection gives information to our nervous systems that we are ok. The content of the interaction is less important than the seeing and hearing. Like the often quoted Maya Angelou: “They may forget what you said, but they will never forget how you made them feel.” Text and email just doesn't have as big an impact.
Let’s also all understand that everyone is processing current events in their own way, so try to remain patient and compassionate.
